- Some common relationship problems are clear warning signs, while others are quite subtle at first
- According to psychologists and experts, there may be so-called pink flags, seemingly trivial details that in the long run may turn out to be a real nuisance and obstacle
- If you observe any of these 10 signals in your relationships, do not ignore them
- More important information can be found on the Onet.pl home page
It’s easy to talk about extremes, to clearly indicate the boundaries, after crossing which nothing is the same. What about the whole palette of grey, with relationships that do not arouse our concern in any way, but only have minor question marks? Psychologists often talk about the so-called red flags, signals that shout to us: “take your time and run away from this relationship before it’s too late.” However, apart from spectacular problems, we are more likely to encounter smaller ones. As reported by huffpost.com magazine, experts like to call them the so-called pink flags.
It’s a whole series of little things that seem unimportant or not so important, but yet they torment us and stay stuck in our heads. Some are almost invisible, others make you keep asking yourself: “maybe I’m exaggerating?” One thing is for sure. Almost any pink flag can quickly turn red, especially if we ignore them and pretend they are not there. It is definitely better to press the brake for a moment at the right moment than to rush straight into the wall blindfolded. Don’t underestimate your intuition, but don’t judge your partner too hastily.
10 signs that this relationship is going straight to the wall
There are several signals that, according to experts, do not bode well. The biggest problem is that they can be very subtle and it takes a long time before we recognize that they can cause trouble in paradise. Not only that, you may consider some of these things to be good for a while!
1. You never argue
Even though it sounds like a fairy tale, it is simply impossible to never argue or at least argue about something. It’s more of a signal that you’re avoiding confrontation and sweeping all the messes under the rug. According to relationship expert Alysha Jeney, this is the so-called a pink flag, a signal that does not bode well.
“This may indicate that both parties are not authentic enough in the relationship and/or are not willing to be vulnerable enough to truly grow in the relationship,” Jeney explains. Every couple must learn to resolve conflicts, without it you won’t get far, and a pink flag will quickly turn into a red one.
2. You have different ways of showing affection
Each of us has a slightly different love language. There are people for whom it is physical touch, those who show love with everyday care and trifles, and those who express their love like the eruption of a huge volcano – with a bang. If you don’t cooperate at this level, it will be very difficult for you. Someone will always feel misunderstood or underappreciated, and sometimes even neglected by their partner. If one of the partners expects constant contact, e.g. via text messages, and the other one considers it intrusive, it will be difficult to compromise.
3. You feel like your partner is hiding something
It’s natural to want to know everything about your new partner, but it takes time. However, you may feel that he is deliberately hiding certain information from you. Maybe your experiences make him overly cautious, but sometimes it’s better not to ignore a bad feeling. One smart way to deal with this is to talk.
Also consider whether you have experienced similar feelings before, perhaps in a previous relationship? “If you’re not sure, just talk to your partner about your concerns without making accusations,” Jeney advises in an interview with huffpost.com.
4. You don’t agree in bed
If you have the distinct impression that you are not compatible in the bedroom, it’s time to seriously consider it. Sex is not always great or even successful, we often need time to adjust and get to know our partner’s preferences. Let’s not forget that the best time in bed is when we feel comfortable and stop stressing.
“If after some time the situation does not improve even after communication, or sexual incompatibility occurs, i.e. your sexual preferences or styles do not match your partner, this can cause a much bigger problem in the future,” explains Rachel Needle, a psychologist.
5. You lack consistency or see double standards-
Do you feel like something isn’t adding up here? That there are double standards in your relationship with some perpetrators? Sometimes stress or emotions make it difficult for us to communicate clearly or express our feelings, but sometimes it can be a warning signal. Don’t attack, talk. There are only two bad things to do in this situation: jump to conclusions or ignore it completely.
6. Technology takes up a lot of your partner’s life
If your partner already has the world’s best technology partner, sooner or later this may take its toll on your relationship. A person who looks at their phone all the time is simply absent from your life.
Checking the phone, watching hours of TV, endlessly playing on the console or living on social media more than real life. You will be surprised how many problems in a relationship can arise from such a seemingly trivial reason as addiction to technology or its overuse. The biggest problems arise when there is a big contrast between you – one of you abuses technology and the other doesn’t use it at all.
7. Your partner avoids defining your relationship
If you’ve been dating someone regularly for several months and they don’t define your relationship as a relationship or avoid taking it to the next level, this could be a warning sign. Most often, this means that while one of the parties is looking for a serious relationship and love, the other party is just having fun. It may turn out that such a partner has no bad intentions, but only bad experiences and is afraid of emotional closeness. In any case, it is better to discuss this in advance.
8. You don’t feel emotionally safe
“Feeling emotionally safe in a relationship is essential for a relationship to be healthy, develop and thrive,” explains psychologist Sarah Weisberg. To feel this way in a relationship, we must be respected, listened to, appreciated and supported in our relationships. These are essential components of emotional security. All this should function in all our relationships on the basis of reciprocity, but this is not always the case. Anything that reduces our sense of emotional security can be a solid warning that we really don’t want to notice.
9. You know he cheated once
You may find yourself in a relationship with someone who has cheated, lied, or cheated on you in the past. Or maybe you have had such an experience in your past? This doesn’t mean anything, especially if someone has confessed to you that they are not proud of everything that happened in their past. We all mature and change over time. However, it’s hardly surprising if your confidence becomes a bit limited. However, the situation is completely different when your partner gives you real reasons to worry here and now. Even if you don’t like the contacts he has with his ex. Explain, talk, play open cards.
10. Your relationship has changed – for the worse.
Relationships inevitably evolve over time, but some of these changes can be warning signs in themselves. You see that you stop engaging, that you don’t try as hard as you used to, or maybe you check each other. This is not the end of the world, but just the perfect moment to react. Something has changed? It’s time to take a look at this. Perhaps some change will strengthen you or you will decide to follow a different path. Changes are inevitable, even negative ones, if you notice them in time, can have a happy ending. However, if he stubbornly looks the other way, the so-called the pink flag will quickly turn red.